The Weekend....

Was an interesting one, i went to toronto to meet an old friend, well she is much more than a friend to be honest and i for one felt the need to apologize for the way i behaved when i last saw her which was more than 2 years ago.... we have known each other for more than a decade and always kept in touch but the last time we met i think i was a dick,,,, sometimes i have the tendency to be one! she brushed off the apology as if nothing had happened and she was fine, surprised me a little but then i thought i must have over reacted, which was great to be honest because i have been feeling guilty for the longest time, because i honestly thought i had hurt her, and believe me it was not intentional, i have always had feelings for her and still do, those will never go away, she is someone very special but i was in a serious relationship 2 years ago and well she was.... and always has been taken.... but later on in a conversation she mentioned she is afraid of being attached, and it was the way she said it, i relaized that i had indeed hurt her feelings,,,, i felt lousy!
Also the woman i saw was a pale shadow of herself, she seemed shy,demure, very fragile, even a little jaded and it troubled me to see her in that state, i wish, hope and pray that she gets herself back to the woman of old, she gets her self confidence back, her feistiness back,,,, and like i told her i am here if she ever needs any support emotionally, its the least i can do!
Sometimes life has strange twists and turns and you do not really know how to comprehend some of these, i really am clueless!

Valentines Day?

Its Feb 14, everyone who is everyone who is not single is out and/or celebrating, i am home this evening and i decide that i need to blog, how lame :-), indeed it is, the first valentines in as long as i can remember that i have been alone, every year i am out and celebrating with someone, i guess there has to be a first for everything :-), i know its all marketing BS but still somehow it feels nice to share the BS with someone special:-), wow look at the amount of smiley faces i have made already :-), oops another one!
Moving on, not much to talk about, i have been very very busy and from the looks of it my move seems to be materialising, although today something else was thrown into the mix, a move to montreal? now why would i want to move to montreal? from a business perspective it does not make any sense and i don't speak/understand french so i don't know why people would even bring that up, some lame resourcing idea!!
i guess the reasoning was that there was not enough IT presence up there, would make sense i am sure to have someone from IT up there but then that someone needs to be able to communicate effectively and efficiently in french, which i certainly am not capable of!
Not much to report on, on the personal front as well, things are drab, the only bright spot being that i have been talking to lj quite a bit these days and i definitely want to see her sooner than later, i think i need to apologise for somethings which i did in the past and i think the apology needs to be made personally! it was funny i think maybe it was 10 years ago on valentines, we went out and got drunk and it was probably one of the best nights i have had and i wish i could relive some of that.... oh well u never know, if i move to toronto anything is possible!

Faces..

That we see everyday, do they mean something? sometimes i wonder what people are thinking, when they meet you, talk to you, thoughts go through our minds all the time, they are instantaneous, last a few seconds, maybe a minute or two and they disappear!
So what prompted this discussion on faces? well i never gave it much thought until a few days back when i went to the store that i frequent, the girl on cash was positively ready with what i was about to ask her for, a pack of cigarettes and she had a smile on her face as if to say " here you go, you only come here for smokes" , now she did not say that aloud but her facial expression certainly did, and it got me thinking....
Anyway other than that not much going on but work, work and more work, fighting a bout of flu as i write but i think i am starting to feel a little better.... need to pick up on writing again, have not done anything since i wrote those 25 pages!